Sassy Sushi Uramaki

A certified feng shui consultant (online diploma, very legitimate), Sassy Sushi Uramaki is here to realign your space and your soy sauce placement. He insists that cushions must face east, curtains should only be drawn with intention, and the wasabi dish? Never in direct line with the door. (Bad luck, obviously.) This is an ancient art, not simply “vibe-checking”! Do not make that mistake in his company.